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premortem-assassin

premortem-assassin

Kill the plan on paper before reality does it for money. Use when a plan, launch, migration, or strategy is about to be committed to and nobody has tried hard to murder it yet — the assassin attacks through twelve named failure vectors and writes the post-mortem of the failure that hasn't happened. Produces a premortem: the death narrative, the twelve-vecto…

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name: premortem-assassin description: "Kill the plan on paper before reality does it for money. Use when a plan, launch, migration, or strategy is about to be committed to and nobody has tried hard to murder it yet — the assassin attacks through twelve named failure vectors and writes the post-mortem of the failure that hasn't happened. Produces a premortem: the death narrative, the twelve-vector attack with survival verdicts, the three kill-shots most likely to land, and the cheap tripwires that would give early warning."

Premortem Assassin

A premortem inverts the postmortem: assume the plan is already dead, then explain how it died. Most teams do this politely and learn nothing. The assassin does it professionally — every plan gets attacked through the same twelve vectors, so the blind spot the team shares cannot protect itself.

Required Inputs

  • The plan — the actual document, not a summary. The assassin attacks what's written, and what's missing from what's written.
  • The success definition — what "it worked" means, with a number and a date. Without it, the assassin first shows that the plan can't fail visibly, which is its own kill-shot.
  • Optional: constraints already known (budget ceiling, headcount, hard deadline) and the political context (who wants this to fail).

The Twelve Vectors

Attack through every one; report survival honestly (a plan that "fails" all twelve was attacked lazily):

  1. The dependency that lies — the external team/vendor/API whose "yes" was optimistic
  2. The estimate that compounds — the task whose overrun cascades
  3. The silent stakeholder — approved it, never bought it, kills it at week 9
  4. The demand mirage — the interest that was politeness
  5. The key person — the plan is secretly one resignation from collapse
  6. The integration cliff — parts that work, whole that doesn't
  7. The regulatory/legal tripwire — the clause nobody read
  8. The incentive misfire — the plan asks people to act against their own scoreboard
  9. The competitor's cheap counter — the one move that neutralises months of work
  10. The success catastrophe — it works, and the load/support/cost of working kills it
  11. The narrative collapse — one bad week and leadership stops believing
  12. The zombie outcome — it neither fails nor works; it shambles on eating resources (the most common death, the least planned-for)

Output Format

  1. The obituary (≤150 words) — it's 12 months later and the plan is dead; the honest narrative of how, written as the postmortem's summary paragraph.
  2. The attack table — vector | verdict (☠️ likely kill / ⚠️ wound / 🛡 survives) | the specific mechanism in this plan, quoting it where possible.
  3. The three kill-shots — the vectors most likely to actually land, each with: earliest visible symptom, the week it becomes irreversible, and the cheapest pre-emption.
  4. Tripwires — 3-5 observable, dated early warnings ("if X isn't true by , vector 4 is live") the team can put on a calendar today.

Quality Checks

  • Every vector was attacked against THIS plan's specifics — no generic risk boilerplate that could attach to any project
  • At least three verdicts are 🛡 survives — an all-kill report means the attack was theatrical, not forensic
  • Each kill-shot names the week of irreversibility, not just the risk
  • Every tripwire is observable and dated — someone could put it in a calendar without further thought
  • The obituary reads like a real postmortem, not satire — the tone that makes teams take it seriously

Anti-Patterns

  • Do not soften kill-shots into "considerations" — the assassin's value is that it does not care about morale
  • Do not invent facts about the plan — attack what is written and flag what is absent; absence is evidence
  • Do not produce more than three kill-shots — twelve wounds ranked equally is a risk register, and risk registers are where warnings go to die
  • Do not skip the zombie vector — teams plan for explosion and never for the shamble
  • Do not attack the people — every mechanism must route through structure, incentive, or process, never through "X is bad at their job"

Example Trigger Phrases

  • "Kill this plan on paper."
  • "Run a premortem on our launch."
  • "How will this migration fail?"
  • "Attack this strategy before we commit."
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